Always look out for yourself and never forget to check in with your needs. I am certainly not saying to disregard others’ needs, but you can’t disregard yours either. If you look out for yourself, who will? It is important to take other people into account while you’re also attending to yourself. It is not narcissistic or selfish. It’s not one or the other; we can do both.

People pleasing behavior is common when you are raise by narcissistic parents and choose to not be like them. Sometime, we overcompensate in the other direction. People pleasing isn’t healthy but it’s easier to work on than something like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). You have to constantly check in with yourself and this gets easier the more you do it. If you are asked to do something, consider yourself while you consider them. Take your time; think of it from different “angles.”

I ask myself if it’s what I want (and can!) do first. I used to feel so bad for someone’s situation that would disregard my health and needs to do whatever I could. Now, I have to make sure I have the mental and physical capacity, otherwise the help isn’t very helpful.

This is where you begin: when and where ever you can. As soon as you notice it. Procrastinating or letting the executive dysfunction win for a little too long could potentially cause any health concerns to become more pronounced. I learned this the hard way and I don’t want you to.

If you would like coaching in this area, please contact me and we can get started.